


I’ve been so selfish

by reader2020



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Love, Realisation, change of heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26231086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reader2020/pseuds/reader2020
Summary: Alexander realises what he has is enough.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	I’ve been so selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Best of wives and best of women, but without the consequences

“Alexander come back to sleep.”

Alexander glanced up from his furious writing, quickly turning over the letter so no one could see it’s contents. He didn’t need Eliza to know what he was about to do. 

“I’m going to a meeting at dawn.” He replied, a sense of regret in his voice.   
He looked up at his wife properly this time, letting his eyes rake over her. She had clearly just woken up, sleep still evident in her voice, her sleek hair slightly mused. Baby William was draped across her chest, Alexander vaguely remembered hearing him cry earlier in the night. He must have kept Eliza up. A wave of guilt crashed over Alexander, he didn’t deserve a wife as amazing as her, and she definitely didn’t deserve everything that he had put her through. 

Sighing deeply, Eliza closed her eyes. This wasn’t an argument she wanted to have this early in the morning. She clutched baby William closer to her chest, sweeping her hand gently over his nose. 

“If you insist on working, I’m going back to bed.” She sighed again, opening her eyes to stare down at her husband. 

He looked as if he hadn’t slept in weeks, dark bruises lined his deep brown eyes, their usual spark dulled. Strands of dark, greasy hair were spilling out of his ponytail, having been tugged at in frustration. He looked so tried, Eliza thought, he was only 45 but looked so much older. America had taken his youth and his spark, run him to the ground and forced him away from his family. She often dreamed of how their lives could have been if Alexander hadn’t of worked so hard, he could have spent more time with the children, with her. Desperately she longed for the day he realised what they had was more than enough. She doubted this day would ever come. 

As she turned to leave the dark office, Alexander reached out a gently grabbed her hand. She turned back to face him, and a small smile appeared on his features. 

“Hey.” He looked as if he was about to say something more, but promptly shut his mouth. Elizas eyes narrowed, trying to read her husbands expression. But for the first time in their marriage, she was unable to figure out what was happening in his brain. 

As Alexander took her hand, he suddenly realised. 

He couldn’t leave Eliza alone. 

He couldn’t leave her in debt, with the children to care for on her own. 

How could he have been so selfish, to even think about going to a duel with Burr. 

What he had was more than enough. It always had been. 

Just as Eliza turned to walk away again, he put his quill down and stood up. The movement caught her attention, and she turned to face him once more. 

“I’ll come back to sleep.” His voice full of confidence. 

A smile pulled at Elizas face as she nodded, clearly surprised at his change of heart. She lead him out of the office door, gently placing William back into his bed. 

They walked silently to their bedroom, both sinking into the bed. 

“I love you so much” Alexander leaned over and whispered into Elizas ear. She sighed happily at the gesture, feeling content. 

“I love you too. Now sleep.” She placed a kiss on his temple.

Alexander smiled. 

He may have thrown away his shot, but it was more than worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Eliza deserved so much more :(


End file.
